The tie that binds

Father’s Day. An occasion celebrated on the third Sunday of June every year. A day when a child bestows on his father various gifts to express his love and respect.

But does just giving gifts to your father make any difference? Can giving neatly wrapped presents strengthen the relationship between the two?

I doubt so.

This Father’s Day was not different. I noticed many children presenting various gifts to their fathers. The gifts ranged from branded shirts and ties to smart phones.

I noticed this also in those families where the two would barely communicate the rest of the year.

It made me wonder whether the gifts are given out of respect and love or it is just for the sake of celebrating the Father’s Day.

I doubt they ever thought what gift their fathers truly need.

It is not an attractive T-shirt with his name printed on it. It is not a beautiful card, too. What he needs the most is your true love and a better relationship with you. A relationship that is filled with true understanding, true love and true respect for each other.

He wants a T-shirt with the names of both of you printed alongside to mark the everlasting love. He wants you to feel the words that are etched on the cards.

Often, children blame their fathers for interfering in their lives. Very rarely they would realise the reason behind it. Many fail to understand that a father always wishes the best for his child. 

That’s why I believe that instead of spending time searching for the “perfect” gifts, one should spend quality time with his father on this wonderful day and try to understand him.

Frank Sinatra, the famous 20th-century American singer, had rightly said, “The tie your father is interested in isn’t one he hangs around his neck. He is more concerned about the tie that exists between you and him.”

(Published in The Gulf Today on June 25, 2016)

Hiding your age?

I always wonder how many issues a woman can hide from her friends? Her savings? Gossip secrets? Or the most common, her age?

Uncountable.

The attempt to conceal their real age is perhaps the most commonly founded habit among women. This impression is so common that even when someone shares her real age with friends, they won’t believe initially.

And if someone reveals the actual age of a particular woman, she would react in a manner as if it was the end of the world.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a girl too. But I also fail to realise why do they tend to hide their age?

Once I met a pair of juvenile siblings. When I asked the boy his age, he replied without any hesitation.

But the girl replied, “Let’s ignore the question. I am a girl after all.”

Though I did not expect this answer, it didn’t surprise me.

To conceal their real age, many women have started using modern techniques. 

With one stroke of makeup, they get rid of the wrinkles. Thanks to various hair dyes, the grey streaks too disappear. On top of that, the modern clothes increase the essence of their looks. No one would be able to realise your actual age these days with all the new methods.

I become even more perplexed when I come across people whose age has remained stagnant for the past few years. Confused? Such people would continue to mention the same age for the next few years.

Once, while talking to my friend, I had pointed out this “mistake,” (I thought it was). But she cut me short by saying that age doesn’t matter.

Are women afraid that people would judge them according to their age? Or they simply want to feel younger?

I think I would never be able to find the reason behind it.

And going by the observation of the famous American poet Robert Frost, one should “always remember a woman’s birthday but never remember her age.”

(Published in The Gulf Today on June 18, 2016)

Is it worth ‘dyeing’?

Is it worth dyeing?

Modern world.  New trends. Various consequences. Yet people will first follow the trend and then think about the consequences.

New phone, new dress, anything new can lay the foundation of a new trend. These days, the trend seems to be about fashionable hairstyles.

Many people try to put marvellous hairstyles, whether they are at home, on the roads or at some mall. My friends too seem to have come into a trance of this trend. One day, I would find them putting a pony with a puff, while another day I would catch them braiding their hair.

This trend does not stop here.

With the help of modern equipments, people carry these trends even further as these equipments have made it a whole lot easier.

Going for a party? Curl your straight hair and put a beautiful braided bun. Your hair is ready.

That’s not all. The trend treads deeper when people realise that one can change the style, the shape and even the colour of their hair.

Now, many people seem to be “dyeing” to get their hair “dyed.” Some people with various curls hate their messy hair and change it into straight. While many other people won’t like their straight hair locks and convert it into a curly hair.

To keep pace with the trend, people have started losing the originality and natural beauty of their hair. They do not realise the consequences in store for them if they continue with the trend.

People don’t understand that their hair is slowly “dying” due to the constant “dyeing.” 

The chemicals sometimes react strongly against the hair, which often leads to serious skin diseases. Similarly, the heat emanated from a hair straightener may lead to hair fall or other related problems.

I fail to realise, is it worth “dyeing!”

(Published in The Gulf Today on June 11, 2016)

Defining desire

The past few weeks had been a blend of excitement and nervousness for the students of Grade 12 as they waited patiently for their results to be declared.

They were excited for the results as they were confident that they had given their best. However, they were equally nervous about their future, as it was the career defining moment.

Their conversations always attracted me. Many of them expressed what they would “like” to become while some of them shared what they “want” to do in their life ahead. There were a few who spoke about their “desire” for the future.

The usage of these three words - Like, Want, Desire - prompted me to pay more attention to such discussions. At first, when I heard these words, I felt they held the same meaning. However, when I gave it a second thought, I realised that there is a huge difference between these simple words. I realised that each word has a distinct sense of passion and a new tone of commitment which was way different than the other.

After hearing them for a while, I started to understand the significances of these three different words. “Like” was what expressed the tinge of preference in one’s voice. However, those who mentioned what they “want” to do had a much serious tone of commitment and displayed how much they wished to pursue their dreams.

And then, there were people who had the “desire” to do something special in their life. Their voice expressed enough commitment and passion to guarantee that no barrier can come in their way. They would eventually find an open door if they would find one to be closed.

I realised while everybody likes or probably even wants to do something notable in their lives, not everybody desires them. Thus, if we want to do something notable, we must follow our desire.

(Published in The Gulf Today on June 4, 2016)

Road not taken

Road Not Taken

“I prefer friendship over logic. What about you?” My friend asked me. This question might seem tricky but to me the answer was simple - friendship.

This brief conversation made me think of the new trend in this world. These days, friendships are broken when a person crosses the limit while arguing to prove his logic to his companion. Close relationships become distant when one of the parties refuse to accept the fact that their logic was proven wrong by the other.

I fail to understand why people would break their long friendship over a petty argument. I have seen many people who do not care about such feelings when it comes to proving the accuracy of their statement. I do not know the reason. It could be because they want to feel superior in front of their friends. Or maybe they are afraid that if their friend would win, they would be embarrassed.

Whatever be the reason, I personally would not like to win any round of argument if that would cost my friendship. Even if I was right, I would first notice how delicate the friendship was at that point. I feel it is much better to lose an argument and preserve your friendship than to gain victory at the cost of your friendship.

The pleasure you earn when you protect your friendship and your ties with your friend is much better than the pleasure you would have by winning the argument. I just hope that people realise this and take precautions so that this golden treasure can be theirs, eternally.

I would suggest that when asked to choose from two roads, one marked friendship and the other marked logic, choose the former because that is the road less taken. 

This will make the difference, just as the famous American poet, Robert Frost has suggested in his poem, the Road Not Taken,

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

(Published in The Gulf Today on May 28, 2016)

Recycled thoughts

Same thought. New perspective

“Recycled thoughts” is a reality. Or, at least, I believe that.

Because, many ideas or thoughts presented today were already mentioned at some point of time during the past by someone else.

It is quite common to feel that the statement one has just made was told by someone else as well. Even you would have felt it at one point of time or the other, be it a statement made by a politician during his speech, or a dialogue delivered by an actor in the film, or even by your friends during informal conversations.

Remember famous Indian actor Shah Rukh Khan’s popular dialogue from the Hindi film “Om Shanti Om?” He had said, “.... kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho to poori kaynat use tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai...” 

It was originally mentioned by eminent author Paulo Coelho in his bestseller “The Alchemist.” He wrote, “And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

One might have dismissed Shah Rukh Khan’s dialogue and would have branded him as copycat. But it was said in a different circumstance and with such vigour that Coelho’s statement got a new meaning.

One may find similar examples while reading articles in magazines and newspapers as thoughts of various authors on current affairs might sound similar, but on the whole, their views would be different from each other. 

Similarly, if a politician promises unlimited water supply to win over the trust of residents of a well-developed town, it may not convince them. Yet if the same politician makes the same promise to people at a drought-hit place, it will have a completely opposite result.

One should not dismiss any statement at once. He should try to comprehend the meaning by relating it to the time and circumstances in which it is said.

As it is said, there is nothing new under the sun, you only get a new interpretation.

(Published in The Gulf Today on May 21, 2016)